When I left the canoe dock that day, I wished I had stayed… it was my last youth trip and it was time to go for my final teacher training.

One piece at a time. So I did my training after Moraine and I was already teaching the following spring. I went from total freedom out West to totally work focused once back home.

This year, I realized that although our family life is pretty complex, I had vanished purposely. Meeting Dan was a magical experience in my life and so was it when I became a step-mom. Our relationship got me moving closer to Montreal at the same period my father passed. I stayed around my mom to help with all the papers and phone calls, but I left my hometown and followed my heart (to those who could not believe I’d never leave my hometown, know that I would never trade that part of my life for anything.)

My life in Quebec City sort of ended there except for family and 1 close friend. I had other friends, I swear…my best ones were my cousins so they’ll always be there.

In the past weeks I have reconnected with both friends and colleagues I hung out with and I know that they know why I had to stay away from social networks. Some things in life take time to heal…maybe too much time when it comes to me. I do hope you all forgive me for I am truly very sorry.

To my soulmates, to my cousins, to my unique and strong « roomie from Moraine » sharing the bunk bed with you was just pure fun, to my « 5 à 7 » girlfriends down at old Liquor Store ( R.I.P. What a blast we had there!!!),to my hairdressing attempts with you girls in my apartment kitchen, to my partner in crime (back in the old days) when I needed a drag during a school day… you were never forgotten. I just needed to go away.

I was never sick, never got in trouble but it’s true, I never stayed in touch. When I found Dan and his daughter, I was grieving my own dad. Soon after, I went through losing a child, to finally having my own princess: Lilly. For the spelling, please ask Dan…I got the choice of name and he…made sure our daughter would have to spell her name ALL THE TIME!

And if now I am scared…but I am all the time no worries! What if I’d never got to say personal stuff to people I’ve always cared about?

I don’t want that. So, if I reached out to hear from you, that’s only because you mean to me.

The once suspiciously too happy girl

L xxx